Emotional Guard Rails

My emotional guard rails

I was asked via private message if I’d like to play and I have decided to use that message as the reason to write out, for my own benefit and reminder, my own emotional guard rails and rules. Read along if you’d like.

I have 3 levels / types of play.

Party play

Semi-private play

1 on 1 play

Party play to me is like going out to the dance club. Oh look, I’m dancing, hey look, you’re dancing, let’s dance. It’s sexy, it’s fun, it makes ya feel good, maybe you hug your temporary dance partner and laugh and high five and then…you go back to your friends and your night and life and perhaps even retell the one time you watched that crazy guy dance up a storm at the bar and….

I like to rope, oh, look, you like to rope? Awesome, let’s rope. Can we spank while we rope? Sveet. Hair tug or 2-step? Too much, OK, back to basics…

That was awesome, hug, thanks, let’s do it again the next time we….

Semi-private play (not to be confused with semi-private rope lessons) means you’re fun, I like you, let’s get together and have an aside and see where it goes. I’m interested in you as a friend and perhaps more. Want to step over here and talk it out? Or shall I shut you up and kiss you now?

Private play means 1 on 1. I like you, I trust you, I enjoy giving parts of my time / life to you and the next few hours and rope are all yours and mine.

I’ve party played with…..well, I’m a party man whore, let’s leave it at that.

I’ve semi-private played with a much shorter list.

I’ve private played with about…10 or less people.

This is not a reflection on them, it’s a reflection on me and my values and priorities and wants and hurts and guidelines etc…

So there it is for posterity sake, my emotional guard rails.

Link to original Fetlife writing

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