On Rope Injuries
It was "our" fault
I was recently reading a note on Reflections on all those writings on rope bottoms' responsibility and thought, huh, I think what is missing is "our" or "us".
Let me explain.
I've had one SERIOUS rope injury in my time as a rope top. I (ok, we) dislocated her shoulder.
It was during a class on predicament bondage. We had done everything "right". We where at a supervised class with an international presenter / teacher complete with step by step instructions and padding on the floor and...and...and...snap, crack, pop went her shoulder.
The instructor had (to their credit) told us tops to tell our bottoms to "cross your arms across your chest as you lift".
I told my darling attnwhor "OK, cross your arms across your chest as I lift" and then I lifted...and that's when it happened.
She hadn't crossed her arms and upon being lifted by the waist she reacted and tossed her arms back to balance and as the ground / rope are much stronger than her shoulder joint...out popped her shoulder.
FUCK!!! Luckily because we'd done everything "right" and this occurred with supervision and...attnwhor was very quickly tended to, her shoulder set back in its socket and no permanent injury occurred.
We spent the next month together every night as I rubbed her shoulder and helped with the rehab and you get the idea.
So who's "fault" was it? Who was responsible? We where. We decided to engage in Risk Aware Consensual Kink and engaged in one of the riskier elements (predicament bondage) and the risks caught us.
I did give the instruction, she didn't follow it. Her fault??? I lifted before verifying and checking she'd heard and followed the instruction. My fault???
My take away from that day? Tops, it's not enough to think you did it or said it, you have to verify it's done and they heard it. Her take away from that day? Bottoms are active participants in rope scenes and you can hurt yourself if you're not in the rope scene as well.
It was "our" fault and "we" both learned from it and spent a good month setting it right and talking about it and me massaging her shoulder and...
Yes, bottoms have responsibilities and it's good they reflect on them, my attnwhor has many times and it's why she's such a lovely rope bottom. Yes, tops have responsibilities. It's why we created this site.